Sense

I am not someone who need a sense of belonging. I can go anywhere, into any situation; drop me at any place and tell me to spend the rest of my time there, I can do it. All I need is to adapt.

I am not someone who can do without a sense of purpose. Tell me to do this, I want to know why, tell me to go there, I need to know why; when I do something, I would want to picture the consequence.

Spit all over

Before I start, I have to disclaim that I am not fully in the situation I am about to narrate, hence, what I mentioned, might not be representative of the actual.

I realised something about a certain type of human being. The ones that are often oblivious to what is happening on the mind and hearts of others, yet, they often shoot off and rant about much of how they are feeling. My friend was a victim of a spat that happened a couple of days ago. I witness a spit of ungratefulness on an act of real Samaritan concern.

I think I might be guilty of these at times. So recently, I have learnt to just keep quiet than to react to a situation. Why confront a situation when what you say means nothing?

Seminar, the lousy type

Before I forget, I need to have this recorded as the events created quite an impression in me. I went for a seminar a few days back. Three speakers - MOM, Safety Auditor Association and a certain Private Company.

MOM was focusing on trying proclaim how hardworking they have been; and how, despite their hard work, the laymen failed to live through dangers and hazards.

Safety Auditor was complaining about how the auditees did not made the auditor's lives easy by not producing the right document at the right time at a snap of their fingers. By the way, he did not test out the slides and had version problem as a result. He was also late when returning from tea break, as a result, the whole seminar floor was waiting for his grand arrival.

Private company's representative talk more humanely, but boastfully. He went about advertising his company and their products and how well they scored in the audit and also how every company should strive to achieve a certain level of safety.

I have no problem marking the whole session as 'FAIR', first speaker 'FAIR', second 'FAIR', third 'GOOD'. I have been quite generous with my marking if you ask me.

"She held on to my hands and pressed her head into whichever part of me within her reach, as we made out way to the clinic for the third time that day."

It has been a disturbing day the whole of yesterday. I see gore, blood, innards. It's not everyday that one can see what's usually on the big screens in real life. Ah Niu went into a fight somewhere with someone (or the plural of someone) and got himself a big nasty wound at the back of his head. The wound has not healed since and he refused to be taken to the doctor. He is now Rotted Niu".

Saima has been previously warded into the clinic for a dislodged rectum due to hookworms infection in her digestive system. The specifics of it shall not be discussed. The rectum got pushed back in and the hookworm got treated, and she was discharged in our second visit to the clinic yesterday. Lo and behold, within 3 hours of her discharge, what was pushed back into her, exited again. I would not say they came out of the anus because quite frankly, nothing really came off, its the same things along the same system that happens to be in a different place. I would think of it as a sock turned inside out.

Without a choice, we have to bring Saima back to the clinic, and she is staying there, again. We forgot to bring along her leftover medication from the last warding and told the doctor we will be returning later to get that done. Saima was slightly trembling - I don't know whether it's the air-con or her mood - throughout the journey. She held on to my hands and pressed her head into whichever part of me within her reach, as we made out way to the clinic for the third time that day.

We returned with the medicine in our final trip for the day and Dr Jemmy had to break to us a news that would crack our heart and shatter our wallets. Saima has to undergo a surgery. Her digestive tract has to be drawn inwards to toward the stomach and sewn there as the recurring problems no longer has a solution. We agreed to the procedure after some serious questioning by Seamonkey.

As I typed now, Saima is probably on her way to the medical centre at Nusa.

p.s. Saima will also be spayed in the same procedure.

What song is this?

If any kind soul knows the title to this song, please let me know.

Committed 2/2

In the last post, I mentioned that company A never called me about the phone inquiry I made about Lian Yun Gang. When I was at their brick and mortar shop, they had the audacity to discuss it as a joke.

"What gang? Lian Yun Gang? Fan Di Gang (Vatican) I heard of, not Lian Yun Gang, where is it really?"

I believe if they know that I was the one who called and ask about their joke, they would not have joked about it so openly. Anyway, I did not book to fly with them, because:
1. The ticketing officer did not know the route to Lian Yun Gang, nor did he know the airport code is LYG (I have to tell that to him).
2. He also did not know how to connect flights to LYG. How can I trust that I am getting the cheapest possible flight?

The customer service officer finally called after 2 days. And I told her that I have decided not to book with them because the price quoted to me was at least $700+. I booked with Kingdom at $570.

Anyway, I have digressed much. I was supposed to be talking about my Shandong trip and not my colleagues LYG trip. Having secured a far with company B, yet out of curiosity, I asked the lady from Kingdom to check a fare to Shandong for me. She quoted me $1000+. I shooked my head. She asked whether I have seen cheaper fares. And I nodded. She asked how much and I replied her honestly. She told me that she would search out a fare for me, if there are cheaper flights, she would give me a ring. And I left the place after booking the LYG flight.

In a mere 15 minutes, I got her call that she had found a lower fare for me and asked whether I would like to return to her shop, which I am happy to, of course. I had to cancelled Ms Lai's offer, but I think this Kingdom lady deserve my money and she worked for and earned it.

Committed 1/2

I have committed to my 6-day holiday next January.

However, I am not about to share the pre-hols itinerary planning.

Hands up to those who have encountered a bad customer service experience. What I am about to share is a modern day story of a customer service personnel who went beyond just selling airfares.

Let's define the cast. Company A, company B and Kingdom Travel. I chose not to name A & B by name because I think they would rather I not name them.

I did a fare inquiry on A's website. The site shows airfare with good price. Cheap I should say. I attempted to book it. But when it comes to the securing part, it shows that there were no more seats and I should look for a higher fare or another day to travel. Fine, let's proceed to company B.

I did an online booking with B and secured a fare. Though more expensive by about $100. I manage to reserve a seat. The very next day, the salesperson (Ms Lai) called me, not to ask anything other than whether I have transferred the money to them. I said I will make my way to her office to make payment on Monday (which is the next day).

Come Monday, I got a call from Ms Lai and quite predictably, she asked on the status of my payment. I got slightly annoyed and told her again that I will be making my way to her office to make payment and also that I have told her this yesterday.

I called up A to ask about another ticket fare for my colleague to another location. The customer service personnel said that the ticketing officers are all busy and will call me after 2pm. I believe they were all busy eating. And they never called though I heard them discuss about my call when I was in their shop. I did not buy their fare too because the ticketing officer do not seem to know the route to the destination and I had to tell him that.

This is getting abit long. I shall leave the rest of the story for the next post, if I remember.

Untrustable

Cast:
Boss
Minion
Outsider
Authority-A
Authority-B

There was a time when boss got into trouble with authority-A and received an edict to appear in front of the court at a said date-A.

The boss knew that this case would mean a fine, which is fine, by the way. However, he could not attend the court session on the said date-A due to an overseas obligation. He asked his minion to try to settle the matter with authority-A without letting him know about his trip - as good as asking the minion to go to the casino without any chips.

Of course, the minion failed. Boss went to outsider for help as the outsider has links with the nobles. Boss asked for an out-of-court settlement, however, the outsider tried to be smart and asked for a total removal of the charge, which failed, by the way.

The minion told the boss that he would have to seek out authority-B and ask for the change of date. But the boss, oblivious to the minion's words, asked the outsider for help again. And the outsider - after speaking with authority-A - gave the boss a number to call, and the boss asked the minion to make the call. Alas, the number is the number to authority-B, albeit nobody answering for the whole day the minion called.

The minion continues his sad life trying to call.

Pengerang

I am glad there are some things that is worthy of me saying I am happy about recently. The Robinson sale at Expo, I bought like there is no tomorrow, although the John Little sale is really round the next corner.

The Pengerang cycling trip - though smeared with hiccups - was a pleasant first time. I started the trip with less-than-optimum level of enthusiasm, made worse by the wait for the ferry, one hour, if not more. The cycle to Sungai Rengit was an excellent route lined with simple housing, just-enough-to-feed-the-family vegetables plantations, fishing houses, the sea and everything simple in life. Another disappointment is having to eat the oh-so-famous baby lobster that cost a bomb, yet tasted no better than the crayfish at Tebrau market in JB. I am not even sure they are fresh. Thankfully, we had a good company for lunch. The uncle and auntie (or should I say the hip granny with her husband) chatted us through lunch and repeatedly reminded us to "吃！吃！敢敢吃！吃多一點！我們老人家沒有吃那麼多的！"

We realised that we are running (cycling) late, and decided that there is no way we could catch the next (or was it the last?) ferry back to Singapore on time... unless... we could hire a cab to bring us and our bicycles! And we did, and we suffered the shame when the onlookers look upon our arrival at the jetty.

Better luck next time.

Caught a flu

Rubbish theory

I derived a strange theory on a certain monotonous trip on a coach. When the coach climbs to high altitude, the shampoo bottles bloated due to the low atmospheric pressure acting on the contents of the bottle. When I open the bottle in the hotel's bathroom, the shampoo puked out in a sudden burst.

Applying the same theory to the human body, we should experience severe farting and at least one session of good burst while passing motion.

On the way down, the pressure cells acting on the bottle is higher, hence, the soap bottle will be dented. The same pressure is applied on the human body and one travelling downhill will experience tightness physically, explaining for the queasiness.

Lousy

I am forced to take things in my stride today, even if it means having to be held by the nose by a driver and suffering the consequences of a selfish, lousy, wrong decision.

I sacrificed a relative gathering, which I was never told of, and an afternoon of time to do my assignment, just to act like a responsible, helpful facade.

I chose to take a step back and just accept whatever instructions that come by. Whatever not said, I take it there's none.

More and more things I dislike are happening nowadays. But whatever I do not like, I say nothing about.

The truth always hurt.

Yet I rather keep quiet than to tell a lie.

Teachers Day

Tomorrow is Teacher's day. I can only think of a handful of personnel that truely deserve my gratitude.

- Ms Cheong Lin See (Keming Pri Sch)
- Mr Beh Yong Hua (Dunearn Sec Sch)
- Mr M. Nageb (SIM-UOL)
- Dr. Philips Stephenson (SIM-UOL)
- Dr. Frances Healey (SIM-UOL)
- Ms Jacqueline-Lee Mather (SIM-UOL)
- Ms Patricia Chia (SIM-UOL)
- Mrs Rosemary Gosling (UOL-LSE)
- Dr. Steve Taylor (UOL-LSE)
- Prof. Roy Chandler (Cardiff)

Thank you all for helping through my learning journey and making me constantly explore and question.

I felt a gloom when I looked at my Alma-maters' website and had a minor shock that some 'lousy' teacher during my school days are not heads of departments. Within their departments are more qualified (integrity-wise) teachers. Think again, this is a place that looks at your degree. You don't have it, you do not rise.

Lor Halus

Net happiness for the day

I am having net happiness today. That being my total happiness today less my total upset, I still have some surplus happiness.

- having to count Foo pay.
- having to fret over a kacang putih order from a regular.
- had to sub the kacang putih to auntie.
-- that order is last minute.
--- all delivery truck went out for the day.
- minor screw ups with the order
- thought i nearly failed assignment

+ went swimming.
+ auntie helped me with the kacang putih order.
+ received pay.
++ banked in pay.
+++ went shopping with pay.
+ passed test
++ passed assignment
+++ being the first to leave the class because of the above 2 +
+ went running

sick of it part 2

There are also times where I have to face a bad attitude from a someone - be it a co-worker, the boss, the list can go on. I reckon it could be because I do not act in accordance to someone's script of what s/he expects. For e.g., you are expected to say thank you when someone hands you something, you are expected to shout 'delicious, one more!' when someone brought forth you a dish. To me, these are the actions of hypocrites, where sometimes I am guilty of myself. Most other times, I chose to follow my own thoughts, which could be perceived by others as arrogant, insensitive and irritating.

It feels lousy to have to be issued a black card, sometimes almost immediately after offering help. It adds to the feeling of being used and thrown aside. But for not liking to explain myself, my actions or any decisions, I cannot argue for much.

sick of it

How many time in your life do you have people saying 'you can't do this', 'you are not good enough' - and yet, you have nothing to say in return, because, quite in fact, you really are not up to the mark.

Yet at other junctions of the same lifetime, you find yourself really not capable of certain task, not really good enough to deliver - and you asked for help, and you get a cold call. And it is afterwards that people who shrug you off became concerned about your ordeal.

It is such events in life that makes me think thrice about lifting a helping finger, or making a genuinely critical comment. Sometimes, I think I would rather see someone go and commit a mistake, than to warn about it beforehand, only to get a face, that suggest I am harbouring a malicious intent.

Thanks

The thanks before and after an event is not as worthy as a word of gratitude or encouragement during.

The thank before an event meant to inform you that your help is needed, please do a proper job.

The thank after is to let you know that everything went well. If the event did not go well, you will not be thanked.

The thank during is somewhat genuine, though it could mean that someone is checking on your progress. On the good side, thanking during could also mean that your effort is being appreciated real time, including the failures and re-tries.

So I ask myself, do I prefer a thankless job or a before-after-thanks one.

New job description

I have a newfound job description for myself. I do everything, even things I do not know how to. I have to deal with people's temper. I have to deal with another company's boss's temper. I have to deal with temper arising out of someone else's home matters. I have to deal with temper triggered off by workers.

Even if I sense an unhappiness and tried to ask about the situation, I get an attitudinal answer like, 'You go and see for yourself.' So, if I choose not to, I will be at fault?

Substitute all 'deal with' with 'face' because there is no two ways about it. Just take it and swallow. Don't die, congratulate myself, die, I asked for it.

And you cannot do anything but nod and say yes, nod and say 'I will see to it', nod and shut the hell up.

Liberated

I did something most people might consider stupid today. I set a rat cage trap yesterday before I leave workplace. Voila! It caught a rodent through the night.

However, when I look at the furry thing, I could not decide what next to do. Ah Siao says, drown it in water. Ah Chun suggested, put it in the Sun. Ah Jian asked me why haven't I sentenced it to death.

I fed Mr Rat with Nini's food, which it chewed with great enthusiasm. I wondered whether that would be it's last. Funny, considering it's fate laid in my one decision.

In the burning mid day Sun, I ... ... released it into a drain, and I felt liberated.


p.s. I've since set another trap.

Do not like

I suddenly feel the urge to express a view. I am beginning incline towards business owners NOT absorbing increases in taxes, price, cost, NOT pledging to keep prices at an artificially affordable level, NOT raising price and offering discount. Such actions only fuel customers with the token to complain about their 'plight' when they are faced with the real situation.

I do not like the people up there raising this price, raising that tax, claiming that they are collecting them to help those in need (referring to themselves). I do not like the people up there talking hawkers into pledging not to raise prices, when they allow prices of their supplies to rocket. These are the worker's money earned shedding buckets of sweat.

Bourgeoisie beware, retribution will catch up one day.

Senseless belonging

I am belonging lesser and lesser to myself. I find my weekend burnt to char.

I wanted to go for a holiday, but I sabotaged myself by signing up for a course. I feel like giving myself a jodan mawashi geri.

My most recent time, I could remember, dedicated to my likes is a photoshoot at Labrador park. Though short, but has been really meaningful, at least to myself.

When can I have more time for myself?

Time Wasting

Today was supposed to be a good day for me. I was greeted with the morning rain, followed by the cool weather that lasted through the day. Yet, I was in a foul mood for much of today.

I wasted time having to think of how to draft a complain letter to Singnet, for the once-every-few-days connection drop, which happen yesterday and today, and some days of last week. I spent time thinking of how to increase the reliability of my complaint and the repeatability of connection problem. Well, I could not find a way through my thoughts.

Time wasted thinking of things that I should not have been doing. I only edited 2 photos today and I have piles more to go. My poor eyes ... ...

Maureen

Some lousy event happened in a few days. 小胖 passed on to doggy heaven, two days following Ah Fluff, hope their friendship continues in the nether journey.

Called MOM today to 'talk' about the delayed response. They asked me for 3 more days, which quite frankly, I could not say NO to.

I remember a classmate name Maureen from my poly days. She is a modern, hip and friendly lady, often dressed stylishly in printed tank top, body hugging jeans and boots, and had a small tattoo ring on one finger.

But NO! I am not talking about that Maureen today. It's the Maureen from SC2. I shall not get personal on her looks. I called her to ask about how I can do an application status check by myself; I'm not even asking her about the status. In metaphoric terms, I am asking her how to fish and not asking her for a fish. She became all defensive, as if I am blaming her for the delayed outcome of an application. Argument ensued and it's not even about the topic I wanted to asked in the first place - Time Wastage. I wasted time no further and drop the line, and call SCAL instead, and ask for the general manager, who was not around, and was directed to the assistant general manager. Assistants has the sorriest of worklife. No glamourous GM title, but have the same, if not a higher, pile of work to do. Anyway, Esther, the asst. GM appeased me and offered to help me with what I wanted. I reiterated to her that I want to know HOW to check the outcome and not asking her to check it for me, and her response fully satisfy me, 'I know, let me check it for you, I want to learn it as well.' Full marks!

On the way

I am composing this post amidst a jam on the malaysian side of the causeway. Earlier, I witness a person stuck in the eiacs gantry, better known as the thumbprint machine. The checkpoint officer has not the slightest idea on how to solve the problem, which I recognised even before that man enter the gantry. He was carrying way to much luggage the size of godzilla and t-rex combined.

Now, I am sitting adjacent to a man sitting beside a snoring pig. He must have been really tired snoring away, oblivious to the population, with whom he is sharing the bus with.

I am reaching the checkpoint. Oh, the man beside me is dozing off, he is reaching my shoulder. Help!

Hopeless creatures

Recently, I encountered a couple of sorry organisations when it comes to customer servicing / call handling.

First, it's HDB. I appealed against a notice of offence for parking my vehicle at my house MSCP. I was issued a ticket because I had transferred the season parking to my friend's place as I was away for reservist. It happened that for 2 nights, I was able to out-pro and return home. And it also happened that for these 2 nights, I was issued tickets for parking at my house carpark. I appealed on the ground that I had actually purchased season parking, and I had only technically parked at the wrong carpark, and in real terms, I had not caused a nett increase in cars in either my house carpark or my friend's. HDB mentioned that they will reply within 2 weeks and that I could hold the fine until they replied. It's been a month since I heard from them - sitting on it?

Then, it came MOM. I helped auntie with an appeal for transfer of a foreign worker from another company to her's. MOM needed more time, 3 weeks for processing of appeals submitted via iSubmit. I certainly hope the 'i' does not refer to intelligence because I certainly sense any, both from the humans and from the machines. From past experience, if you call them up to remind them that their 3 weeks are up, they will tell you they require 3 working weeks, i.e. 21 working days in their context, which is a whole calendar month (why don't they just mention 21 working days? trying to sound efficient?). And when you call them after a month, they will tell you they are looking into it, and you get a rejection the next day - an easy way out.

Today's episode is starred by Singnet. I called the customer care number as printed on the router supplied by Singnet and highlighted my problem to them, not before waiting 15 minuted listening to music, 'sorry's, 'please hold the line', 'we will attend to you shortly' and what-have-them. Alas, the officer had to tell me to call another number for Singnet Business. So, why don't they just print that number? Anyway, I called up that number and was served by another officer who just woke up and unsure that she is still in Singapore. She asked me what modem I am using, to which I replied the 2Wire, and she asked me the color, black was my answer, and where I bought it? I said Singnet's courier sent it. After some other questioning, she ask me whether I had bought the modem at some other place. I was baffled and amused in a bad way, like watching a lousy comedy and the rest of the cinema is laughing away at a joke not funny enough. In any way, my problem was not solved, she asked me to plug in my modem directly to the wall outlet and bypass the fax. So if it works, am I suppose to terminate the fax line from Singtel? Or will I need to call again, to be served by an officer apart from her - easy way out again.

YES

Night angzhenwei want to be a bat. Why not a bird? Like to feel freefall and flight. Like the charm of the night. Like to eat fruit and not fight. Thanks dj.

Thank you for your participation in our YES933 21st Birthday Bash giveaway. You won a pair of tickets to an exclusive screening of "WASAO" the movie!  Pls be at GV PLAZA HALL 5'S ENTRANCE tonight at 6.45pm to collect your tickets and watch the movie. The screening starts at 7 pm. Do bring your IC for verification. Thanks! -YES933

Bumped

It is sad that I have to be reminded of my dented bumper today. Auntie ask what happened to my bumper. How I wish I know. I would like to think that it was my effort in banging taxis that caused that dent, but it was not to be.

I remember vividly that my bumper was scratch free - because I wash the pick-up quite often - the night before I park my car at the MSCP and returning home. I pass by the car washing estate cleaner, the Ace Weld lorry, Hup Siong's Van and the white Toyota Mark X. The following morning, I return and see a slanted bumper with a scratch below the headlamp. This has to be one of the helpless moments to be caught in.

What to do? One cannot monitor everything in life.

Fateful beef

I knew I should not be eating beef. I have this funny allergy (if I could call that it); the next day beef enters my mouth - whether it finally goes down the digestive tract does not matter - I will go down with fever.

How true! I went to a HK cafe with Onion one fateful day and he ordered a mix grill platter which is supposed to contain chicken, pork and beef. He requested to change the beef to fish, which was duly obliged by the waiter. When the dish came, there were three piece of meat - two pale brown and one dark maroon. We thought it was lamb and Onion offered me a small piece. I chewed one it and did not like the taste, and spat it out. I checked the order chit and realised lamb was never in the set. The chef had not changed the beef.

I went down with fever yesterday.

Starlight Tears

Run 1/6/11

I had the tendency to forget bringing my swimming trunks for swims. But fortunately, I always had backups. Not the trunks, but I have my shoes. I'm just highlighting that if one has the determination to do some workout, there is always a way round problems.

My route yesterday starts from Safra Mt Faber, I cruised down Henderson road (down slope, whew!), then turn left to go on Telok Blangah Road, passing HabourFront Centre and Vivo City; I then take a left into Kampong Bahru Road; the nightmare starts at Telok Blangah Rise's upslope, all the way back to 2, Telok Blangah Way. How far was that I really do not know.

Whew, good run!

P.s. Met 2I/C at the entrance to the club's pool. He invited me for a swim. But, but.. but, I could not swim his distant, I did not have my trunks, I'm dogged.

What has been in my head lately?

Perhaps, I should be periodically jotting down "What has been in my head lately?" so that in future, I can relish / or puke at this period in my life.

Running / Exercising - My only exercise regime is my almost daily swim at Safra. I target to swim a ten-lap continuous front crawl. Who knows when I will achieve that. I am currently at six. I have not been actively running ever since I graduated from Hendon. Unlike my other buddies who have their weekly dose of football, or daily dose of college life or even occasional dose of get-together-for-sports, I am by myself. Since the conclusion of the recent ICT, I find a short adrenaline rush for a bit of running. I shamelessly pulled along Onion for a Chandu session, disguising it as an evening photography opportunity. Well, I did took a few photos. Yesterday, having had a craving for another session to work my legs, I went for another round of running. I am not exactly sure how long; the route went from Brickland Road, to Bukit Batok Road, down Choa Chu Kang Way, into Choa Chu Kang Avenue 3, back to my house MSCP.

Hypocrites - A certain ethnic group recently fired up a saga about the level of alcohol content in a beer product. It is said that a proclaimed halal beer had it's alcohol level higher than the stated and legally allowed level. While that whole country is debating the number of alcohol molecules allowable, I am thinking about the fundamentals. What is the principle behind the forbidden consumption of this drink? Will it be any difference (religiously) if the alcohol level is at 0.01% or 0.001% or 100%? It as hypocritical as Buddhist vegetarian eating mock chicken and a someone cursing another to death, short of actually killing him/her. Pass the pork rendang please, the halal one, if you don't mind.

Show - Everything since the nomination day seems like a theatrical production. We have the uprising of superstars like Ms NS, hated character like Biscuit Tin and a certain minister without portfolio, wayang promises (sometimes: lies), some good food for the brain, some conspiracy drama to fix up a minister. The older generation seemed to still hold fear and skepticism to the system of election, while the newer generation take this opportunity to party out at the various rallies. It became the talk of the town and it's certainly better than National Day Parade. Since 50 years passed so quickly, I certainly hope 5 years will pass just as quickly.

One incompetent ex-worker, one procrastinating boss

It's the deadly concoction for my glass. The Martian, who has left the service - with a bang - since May last year, has it's radiation lingering in the office. The deadly half-life, coupled with a procrastinating boss who chuck the all important document somewhere between two insignificant pieces of paper, paved the way to the shit hole for me.

As usual, the Fool was sitting at her desk, enjoying the cool air-con, looking into her email screen with no new enquirers, and barking at any calling customers. Boss suddenly produced a letter from IRAS dated 18/4/11 and today is ... 27/5/11, and good one month from the letter.

Whoa... I better start to dig my grave or I might miss the auspicious timing.

Back to reality

I have reached the end of my annual holiday at PRChalet. Its time to fall back into the dark well of reality, sometimes known as worklife. Back to facing idiots at work and wearing a facade to talk to people.

What has been most enjoyable during this ICT?

- Being an advanced party trooper.

-- Able to choose the best bed.

- Play monopoly card.

- Everyday book out until scared/sian.

- Every day PT.

-- Found my fitness (manhood according to CO).

- Crapping with buddies (Stanley on the alternative warm up exercises).

- Bt Chandu, my next running route.

- Biathlon (Sean, nice running alongside)

- Fishing joy

- ETC... ...

What has been undesirable?

- Everyday book out until scared/sian/no dinner indent.

- Team broken up to form a chapalang team.

- Outfield (as always).

- Cooking during a short outfield.

- Drawing signal sets and bringing them outfield.

- One egg, one sausage.

I can go on for both list, but I shall just stop there. Comrades, see you in a year, or, touchwood, during war.

$100

It's a funny feeling. Perhaps, too many a time, I have been scoring only $100 for my IPPT that I do not feel too much off today. Yes, I got another $100. However, what is different today is that instead of all 4s and 5s at statics and 3 at running, I did a 5 for running, but mostly 4s for statics.

What really liven me up is that Onion did exceptionally well for running and I contributed quite a piece of effort to the training schedule.

Now, I have to give my muscle a well-deserved rest.

Monday is coming

I've learnt to accept that, in life, there are always things that piss. Instead of living and reacting to them, I rather take it with a pinch of salt and be nonchalant or at least appear to be so. If you are facing someone who give you short or uninterested answers, so be it, no point forcing people to be interested. If you feel disgusted at people who crowd the lift, only to alight at the 2nd floor, let them be, wait for the next lift. If ah fool tell you she don't know, tell her you also don't know.

It's tiring to have to swim out of the misery sea, just lay on you back, and see where the waves bring you.

Events and its taste

In recent days, I went through traumatic, empathising and educational events.

The trauma came the day Rose got hit by a car. Her hinds were badly injured. The fortune of this incident is that there has been no fracture or any injury to the organs, just a bad dislocation requiring a long span of rest. Rose is now on painkiller for 4 days and antibiotics for weeks to come. Her laceration wounds (some stitched up) has to be cleaned, creamed and powdered at least twice daily. Rose also panted heavily yesterday before I left, however, after her heavy peeing (right after I changed her bedding), the panting reduced and she went to bed.

I later went for a run to prepare for IPPT. I ran two reps of 1.2km with a targeted timing of 5:30 each, with 3 minutes in between; I managed to do 5:00 and 5:15. Within the run, I got to feel how Rose might have felt when she panted. Adopting Rose's hardy characteristic, my legs carried me to the end of the route.

I also understood that speech is a dangerous thing. No matter how much importance you place in a speech, it might not matter to the listener because if s/he took it in another way, you will be sentenced. Dr Chee Soon Juan may have been saying things good for the nation, but no, boss felt offended, you go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. So, yes, lesson learnt, next time, no matter how bad you see the situation, let it develop on its own.

变脸

I took on the role of a face-changing-actor these days. I appear angry, I appear relaxed, I appear happy, I appear tired, I appear to have a good appetite, but inside me, I really felt an unexplained sadness.

I look ahead, I cannot see beyond my five fingers. I look back, I felt like a photographer who could not find a subject to a photo. I soak in the present, I rather let the waves carry me because the more I paddle, the more my torso will ache when I finally realised that I am going nowhere realistic.

I had to lie, sometimes even to myself, so that situations will remain in equilibrium, so that there won't be another concern for people around me, or in simpler terms, I will not be a spoiler. After a lie, I need another several scores of it to cover up. The only truthful claim I could remember I made recent is when I told Sherlyn that I felt extremely depressed whenever she talk about her overseas trip meeting. Onion asked me the factor that is keeping me back from going. I could not answer him, I could not even answer myself (refer to para. 2).

I suddenly think of Emilia - my furry friend who passed on.

Angry rant

I might sound like a spoilt brat whose father refused to buy him a toy. The spoilt brat then rants his piece online.

I suggested to boss that we might be able to earn some bucks from buying and renting out a set of PA system. He told me that this require proper feasibility study, which I have been doing for the past few months. Alas, my hard work has been met with the most heartless reply - silence. To add insult to the injury, when a co-worker brought it up in office today, boss overtly rejected it, something he could have done to me and I wonder why he choosed not to to make me spend those time and eyesight on the screen looking at mackie, rcf, dbt, behringer, yamaha... sending enquiries and making trips to Sim Lim Square.

I am begining to hate every square inch of this place and I loathe having to respond to someone's calling with immediate speed and yet not being heard (or talked to, even if it is just to say 'no'). Remind: Spotlight 400W. I have reached trigger point, I am not going to trouble myself with more thankless venture.

Maybe I, forever, am just not good enough.

Down on luck

Vehicle could not start, battery died.

Went to deposit cash, after queuing for several minutes, machine do not accept cash.

Boss came to jump start vehicle, which later died AGAIN on the road. A garage across the road, but not doing battery.

Bought a new battery, alternator died.

Back in office, ah fool give trouble.

Went to AY, pickup hospitalised.

Took a cab back, cab driver kayu, waste time.

The day has ended, and so will my bad luck I so hope.

Being helped is a misfortune

The problem with engaging the help from others is when they finally saw the detrimental effects from helping you, they will call you and give you a session and you cannot say anything back to them because you are being helped by them.

Tired

The last few days have been treacherous in terms of sleep quality.

Slept late on Saturday and woke up early on Sunday for tomb (niche) sweeping. Then came the dinner till late at Lam Ann.

The next day, onion informed that he needs to make a purchase at Sim Lim, which I saw as a way out of office, away from an irritating colleague. Dinner till late. Tuesday, we had to return to Sim Lim because the grumpy cashier and blurhead salesman has forgotten to return our deposit. Sent onion's uncle for servicing. Sent onion's auntie's computer to her, supper down a mcwing and jasmine green tea, and slept late.

I wonder whether it's my activity that makes me tired, or whether my life itself. Does it really matter to a person long let go?

Ah Wang

The autistic dog.

Bad luck carried on

Bad luck continues. Today morning, on the way to work, I was involved in an accident, a traffic accident to be precise. Luckily, no one was injured except for a slight increase in my heartbeat and the taxi's passenger.

I was travelling along the AYE and as usual, everyone was trying to slow down, hopefully the last five minutes of ERP operation would pass in five seconds. There was a certain taxi, a blue one, in front of me and the driver was skewing toward the left, which was a filtering lane into the AYE, and that road will end in 100 metres. He kept two of the taxi's wheels in my lane and 80 percent of the taxi in the filtering lane. I became cautious of him.

He came back into my lane. After passing the ERP and getting robbed of $0.50, he suddenly slowed down dramatically, and there was no car in front of him. I jabbed my foot onto the brakes and my wheels locked and I drifted nearer and nearer into the taxi's bumper. Bang! I got him.

The uncle tried to highlight my fault that I was the driver at the rear and should be in the wrong and all the other bulls. And he blamed me for not looking out for him, to which, I replied by saying I've already took notice of him from the time he started moving into the filtering lane, and I asked him what he intended to claim from me, before which, I pointed to two spray-painted spots on the bumper and brought it to his attention that that was his own doings. He pointed to another spot on the bumper, to which I see nothing wrong. I used my palm and give it a wipe, and ask him what is wrong with that bumper? He could not give me a good one, and changed tactics to introduce himself as a very 'chin chye' person and wanted to just settle it for nothing. And I see this opportunity to end this tussle. It ended there and then, and I hope he keep to his words.

What luck!

If there is any single day in my life that is truly representative of the description 'screwed', it has to be today. I woke up feeling dissatisfied with the length of my sleep, and the drizzle that lasted through dawn had not make things better.

On the way to work, I was caught in a jam at Clementi; I tried to take the expressway (and had to pay $0.50 for that decision) and was stuck for 20 minutes just to get into it (and it was only 400m away).

When I reached the workplace, I had to face a bitching colleague, which I brushed away quite successfully. Another challenge came in when another fool had to push a customer to boss because she had no common sense to carry out a simple task. Naturally, that job fool set up for boss was eventually spiked into my face. After a series of calls and fax, I had it closed and buried. However, the fool had to present me more dung for the day and that irritated me, and I left the office for the sites after clearing most of the work.

At Sin Ming site, I bought some snack for lunch. The brightly lit stall with TV show recommendation proved to be overrated, for the banana fritters were made using overly ripen bananas, making the fritter sour-tasting. What a waste of money, times four. Luckily the mineral water did not go wrong.

I was summoned by boss to collect canvas at Teck Hin, and that proved to be a consolation for the day, which was pretty short-lived. After purchasing a comfortable shot of milk tea at 'I Love Taimei', my journey to Senoko site was fraught with wrong turns, traffic jams and bad decisions. Turn after turn, I kept making the wrong turns and I never felt more sick of myself.

After the task at Senoko came to an end, I thought I could go for a swim. I had a choice between CCK public pool or Bt Batok club pool, and I chose the former. Poops happens again as I realised I had left my trunks in my pick-up and going back for them would mean that I had to pay another $1.50 for the pool entrance, and had I chose the club pool, I would not face this problem since I can enter and exit as many times as I fancy. I settled for a shower since that's about the only thing I can use. When I finished my shower, I reached for my underwear and they slip off my hands and fall onto the wet ground.

I am speechless at what luck I have today.

fighting a war not my own?

These days, I do not feel myself. Many things are piling up, yet, I have to appear like I have everything in control.

I did not, and still do not like a life controlled, yet, my behaviour has to be determined by those of others and others are selfishly safeguarding they own interests.

I am having difficulty putting my thoughts in words, but just as well, I am not interested in telling anyone about it, because, chances are, well.. forget it..

I sit alone, at least for now.

Smiling Apple

This is the month when my fond memories of Apple gets especially potent.

I am reminded of how she ran away from me and ran back towards me and smell my back when brought her meal. Apple chases bird who tried to eat her food. Apple doesn't share with any other kind but Nini-the-cat. Apple's best feline friend is Nini. Will Nini be also thinking of her canine friend?

How are you Apple in doggy heaven? Do you have enough to eat? Are you sleeping warm at night? Do you still hurt from the injections?

Do you still remember me?...

22:22hr 22 Feb

Though my day did not start quite delightfully, I had kind of a great day today. Bulk of this year's birthday greeting came in form of Facebook posts; Zukerberg, you are one mean geek.

I had a wonderful brunch at Bei Sheng, though I really hope to be eating Japanese food triggered off by yesterday's handroll.

I had one present and one birthday card and one friend to accompany me the whole day.

To me, those are more than enough for me.

p.s. Happy Birthday Rose, Daisy, Apple, Nini-the-Cat, Mini-the-Cat and Wang-the-Pig.

Emo

Things may seem all happening and merry for me this week. But since the new year, I have never felt happy except for the day I spent a few moments with Rose at West Coast.

First, it was the last minutes gathering information transmitted to me, to which I had no choice and no time to attend. Then it was the way in advanced indent for morning transport to wherever pickup point. Events that are important to me, I did not get notice of till the very last minute, and event that I really hate going, I not only have to learn of them way early, I even had to attend them, for reasons I do not know why. And this advanced notice spoils my time from now till the event ends.

My consolation price came yesterday when Seamonkey's father invited me to dine with his friends in Johor. I felt overly pampered by Mr Shopkeeper who repeatedly spin the lazy susan to transport the dish to my front and top up my teacup and wineglass. It was a sumptuous dinner, which I did not deserve but get served.

Tomorrow is another dinner. In exact contrast to the one yesterday, I think I am not going to enjoy it.

Bite the bullet and drag through it.

The people up there are a bunch of hypocritic nincompoops. They came out with a hundred and one rules and break them all in one night.

Fill the front seats before seating people at the back of trucks.

Not seating beyond 1.1metres above the truck platform.

No carrying of people without proper top canopy.

Just look at Chingay.

不吐不快

I am once again owned by the evil aura of Fool. I am satisfactorily convinced that if we are held ransom by some crooks, and that the crook will only release one of us, she will, without a doubt, push me to die. Summing it up, she is downright selfish. I am not asking for her magnanimity of sacrificing herself in the name of justice or moral (if she even has a sense of it), but at the very basic level, I just hope she do not sabotage me. Is that too much to ask for?

When Pam the baker came to our workplace, she even lied that Pam specifically wants to speak to ME, capitalised and bolded. And she wants to speak to no one else but ME. It turned out that she could not handle this customer and she think that the only way out was to trick me into moving into the firing range of Pam and throwing a cylume stick onto me before retreating to the safety of her excuses that do not hold water. I would always remember her words, "I don't know anything, I don't know, I don't know, I'm new, I'm new." I would have crudely told her to SHUT UP, if not for the presence of a customer.

After which, I gave her a piece of my mind and drenched her with my expression of displeasure. Of course, she had nothing to talk back, because she could not find a good enough argument and also quite possibly, she could not be bother since I had already solved HER problem. I would believe the latter is more true.

Sometimes, there are things that I wish I could be blunt in expressing, but rationally, I know that it is not suitable, not morally right, not situationally right, not politically right, not appearing right, and I just have to suck it up and bury it and carry on looking all jovial and cheerful.

Behind the jester's facade lies countless unspeakables.

CNY Woes

My chinese new year was not a good one. I had been feeling drowsy for most of the days starting CNY eve and I dozed off on the couch of 3rd Aunt's house during day 1. I missed two gatherings because my mother gave me the information at the eleventh hour and I was either driving a lorry or, I was driving a lorry.

My happiest moment was spent with Rose on the 2nd day of CNY where we spent a brief moment at West Coast Park. I could tell she really enjoyed it.

Today, I was back in the office (which in fact, I had started work since CNY day 2) and I got 2 random message. One wishing me a good day with Fool; another one wishing me happy new year and informing me she was not coming for work today, courtesy of Fool herself.

Mmpoh

'ah mm' refers to an elder uncle's wife. (Mandarin: 伯母.)

'mm poh' refers to an grand'elder uncle's wife. (Mandarin: 伯母婆.)

The LCD showed "Service Hall 2 - Tan Cheng". It was only then that mmpoh's name got engraved into my mind. After a short ritual, the whole lot of friends and relatives hurried into viewing gallery 2, to catch a final glimpse of mmpoh's coffin, draped with a red banner, pushed into the furnace with an automated trolley. Everyone called out to her, among which, one callout touched a chord in me:

'mm ar! ai der lin sun'ar dng chu hor!' - which translates to, 'Auntie! follow your grandsons home!'

I believed that call was made by mmpoh's eldest son, who died years back in a construction accident.

My memories of mmpoh was largely during the days back at Lorong Terigu. Peh Gong and Si Jek Gong's family lived adjacent my Ah Gong in zinc-roof houses. Ah Ma, Si Jim Poh and Mmpoh are typical housewives who discusses issues like groceries, kueh, fabrics and where to perm their hair. Mmpoh was not someone very closed to me personally, but she took good care of her grandsons when alive, and I believe even in her afterlife.

The last night of the wake was grand. People from all walks of life appeared, soldiers in uniform, office workers, social groups and even gangsters. All had one thing to do, i.e. to pay their respect to Madam Tan Cheng. The night was incense-infused.

On the final day, the sky was pouring on and off, as though crying for a bunch of sons, daughters and grandchildren who were holding back their tears. Though I profess, for the whole of yesterday, to be eating snake, I do not regret, because I get to send off a relative, for the final time.

Be good to self at times

This is my second post for the day. I do not usually have so much to blog about in my boring life. BUT.. today has to be different. I have to be sabotaged by my own colleague, twice.

First the Holland Road boy boy from Malaysia has to drop me sarcastic emails requiring me to fix up a job incomplete by my supervisor. I do not know whether to side with my supervisor or show the surface empathy towards the client. In the end, I decided to push the blame abit on each side.

At this hour, my phone has to ring and it has to be Pui, calling to rant about how the security guard at Suntec refuses to let him carry out his job because... he did not wear proper footwear. Again, I do not know which side to stand - to agree with t he guard that they should have worn shoes, or to bitch at the guard with my colleague. I chose the easy way out again, 'chum siong with the guard see can anot, worse case, go back and wear shoes lor'.

And I am going to bed.

Selfish

I have a new realisation about the term 'selfish'. Not because everyone around me are selfish, that's actually a given and I accepted that long ago. I came to realise that selfishness can come in all styles, sometimes even subtly.

Most of the times, I like to choose to act as if I do not know what is going on and give that person a chance to move on.

Sending Off

Why am I forever being cursed with having to send away my friends and families to the airport?

Today, I sent Chun to the airport. I sent away a friend.

On the positive side, I am sending a father back to a pair of siblings, a husband back to a waiting wife, a son back to his parents and a citizen back to the homeland.

Tiko's Mum

I hopped onto the lorry, knowing only that it was bound for Block 509. Which part of the land, let the driver decide.

To my delightful surprise, it arrived at a certain Blk 509 at Bedok - Tiko's house. Lift upgrading had been completed for the four-storied blocks. I bought a bag of mini oranges and went to Tiko's house. Auntie could not recognise me, until I repeated that I am 'Choa Chu Kang', or so she remembered me by that title.

It was like a meeting with a long lost friend. She asked about me as if an auntie from afar would when she visited. Time flies and I had to go, promising her I would visit for chinese new year.

Target board

I walked into a firing range.

Chamber 1

Firer no. 1: Angry Boss

Firer no. 2: Irritating Customer

Firer no. 3: Tantramic Colleague

Firers! Magazine of 5 rounds, load and ready...

100 metres, foxhole position, watch your front...

I morphed into a figure 11. The biggest possible human target in the range. Angry boss hurled abusive instructions to me. One round in my chest. Irritating customers fired another into my thigh. Help, I can't run. Tantramic colleague gave me a headshot.

Unload, check clear...