Missing

2/5/12 thru 19/5/12 (18/5/12 really); Many people might not share my sentiments. I actually enjoyed this period of in-camp training, minus the field training exercise due to the safety time-out. So much so that I actually felt slightly 'empty' when I returned to the civilised world. I missed the staying in time where my comrades and I had 'heart-to-heart' talks (the gayish term coined purposely to exaggerate), thrash talks and life chats. I missed prawning and eating our catch. I missed bitching about the excess time we had to wait out, and sleep out, when we really enjoyed it. I missed playing LogoQuiz with everyone. I missed complaining about the tasteless PRC cookhouse food and the ultra-spicy PLC cookhouse food and the sit-around breakfast after every morning's session. I missed the daily morning physical training. I will miss all my comrades for the coming year. Back to reality, I am about to fly off on another journey to Bintulu. I hate that place, not for the place, but the work I shall be embarking on, the clients I am obliged to and the national holidays I have to wait through.

Regret

I am beginning to wonder whether I had wrongly entrusted S$900 in cash to my friend, as funds for 'spaying of dogs'. From whatever actions thus far, I cannot help but think that just because the money does not come out of his pocket; it made spending more carefree, short of lavish. It made the spender consider less of consequences of actions and decisions. It made the contributor regret, somewhat.

Dog Run

I got a lot at carpark 1B > I shall go for a run. And I was rewarded for a decision well made. I passed farm mart, and carried on down slope. Someone was barking with excitement. He was all alone standing faithfully at the main entrance of a certain farm. He caught sight of me and stood at attention, tails erected. I stopped in my track and squatted down and showed him both my palms, he started to wag his tail. He came to me and rub his face closer when I caressed him on the face. When I stood up and clapped, he jumped and stood on his hinds. I caught him on his hands and tango'ed him about. What great fun! I carried on my run, only to realise this boy wished to follow. And so he did for the next 300 metres or so, which became the happiest stretch of run in my life till date. When I see him went into the bush to fuel his curiosity, I quickly sprinted towards the traffic light and crossed it. I had to shake him off. I am really sorry. I really do not wish for you to enter the urban world across the street. Please forgive me, I will be back again.

Ah Gong

After a ranting post yesterday, I went to bed feeling a bad aftertaste.

I met my late grandfather in my dreams last night. After so many occasions of missing his praying sessions, I finally see him again. I did not cry, he did not say anything. I am just contented to be able to see him again.

Short break from reality

When someone does something for their own gains, or orchestrate something such that it facilitates their own gain, we call it selfish. But how do we describes the receiving end of selfishness? I would say it is an amalgamation of betrayal, helplessness, upset and sometimes resignation.

These days, I have seen many. When things are not going well, you get people who shuts on you. Or when people suddenly have many things to say to you, you know they need your help. How about someone who asks you a question, and end them with the word 'right?", making you wonder whether that was actually a question or a rhetoric, or just that they just volunteered your support pertaining the matter in question.

On another note, Tiko's grandmother just passed away 5 days ago. I heard his phone call for help on funeral matters, in the voice clearly shaken by a bout of tears. I could understand his sorrows, as I had experienced them four times. Today is the last day of the funeral and I was there for logistical purpose. Strangely but surely, it was the most at-ease moment I experiences lately. My good friend Tiko, my China buddy Ah Jian, the newbie Ah Hao, Tiko's father and the rest of his family - all harmless characters in my life.

Now, I am back to reality.

陳慧嫻 - 傻女

The sky